In the past few decades, we’ve heard churchgoers proclaim phrases like, “I don’t want religion; I want relationship.” Yet, how many of us truly understand the depth and meaning behind these words? It’s fascinating how easily we adopt clichés and buzz phrases without fully comprehending their significance. Just saying the words is as empty as an alcoholic admitting they have a problem without taking steps towards sobriety.
Merely confessing, “My name is John Doe, and I’m an alcoholic,” isn’t enough to bring about genuine change. We’ve become masters at acknowledging step one, but we often neglect the subsequent steps that lead to recovery. Similarly, when it comes to our relationship with God, many of us have allowed religion and man-made traditions to obscure the truth. To experience a genuine communion with God, we must recognize that no one on this planet can define or determine that connection for us. It is a personal journey that only we, in partnership with God, can navigate.
Rest assured, if you are a believer, nothing and no one can ever separate you from God’s love. Not even your own mistakes or failures can diminish the fact that you are a child of God. Let me use a personal example to illustrate this point. I have five biological children, and their actions or choices cannot change the fact that they are my sons and daughters. Even if they were to betray me or walk away from me, they would still hold that familial bond. The same goes for your relationship with God. His love for you is unwavering and unchanging, regardless of your circumstances or shortcomings.
I was raised in a religious tradition that painted a distorted picture of God’s love. We were taught that one misstep or deviation from their self-established righteous path could condemn us, rendering us unworthy of being called children of God. This false teaching left me feeling utterly inadequate, convinced that I could never measure up to God’s standards. No matter how hard I tried, I believed I would always face rejection from God.
We sang songs about the cleansing power of Jesus’ blood, but sadly, we were never allowed to experience that cleansing firsthand. Our salvation was dictated by people who used the pulpit as a platform to exert control and punish those who didn’t conform to their rules. Our relationship with God became defined by obedience to the church’s regulations, which were ever-changing and often arbitrary. Our leaders didn’t want us to experience spiritual victory because they feared we would no longer depend on them. Rules replaced relationship.
Let me be clear, rules in and of themselves are not inherently harmful. From schools to corporations, rules serve as guidelines that help create order and prevent chaos. The church, too, should have guidelines that foster understanding and protect against pitfalls. However, when it comes to the church, we must be cautious not to equate following rules with earning God’s love. The rules should never determine if someone belongs or is worthy of love.
In the secular world, breaking the rules often results in punishment or imprisonment. In the body of Christ, however, we are continually given opportunities for reconciliation with God. This process of reconciliation is what strengthens our relationship with Him. Without it, we would be left feeling hopeless and cast aside. Here’s the truth: God loves you whether you follow the rules or break them. His love is not up for negotiation. Unfortunately, thousands of leaders have distorted the gospel by spreading the lie that you must adhere to their directives to be deserving of God’s love.
“Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall trouble or hardship or persecution or famine or nakedness or danger or sword?” These powerful words from Romans 8:35-39 serve as a reminder that nothing in this world can separate us from the love of God that is found in Christ Jesus our Lord.
Sadly, countless individuals have fallen prey to these man-made religions, becoming disheartened and disconnected from their faith in the process. Many who once walked closely with God, inspired to have a genuine relationship with Him, were led astray by false doctrines. But I’m here to tell you that God wants you back. He longs for a deep and genuine connection with you through His Spirit. If your focus is solely on avoiding rule-breaking, how can you fully embrace the unique plan God has for your life? True communion with God has never been about following a set of rules; it has always been about following Christ.
Choose Accountability, Not Blind Acceptance
To maintain a balanced perspective on this matter, it is crucial not to misinterpret this message as an invitation to forsake all accountability within Christianity. Allow me to assure you that Christianity already has its fair share of wayward individuals who lack accountability. What we truly need is unity, not further division. We require leaders who can guide us when we stray, correcting our mistakes with love and understanding. However, we also need leaders who can affirm us and genuinely love us without resorting to condemnation or punishment.
Consider the example of a third grader who gets a question wrong on a math quiz. The teacher does not expel the child from school; instead, they kindly point out the mistake and guide the child toward the correct answer. This balance of correction and love is pivotal in spiritual matters as well.
Unfortunately, I was raised in a hypercritical religious environment, where being “spiritual” meant pointing out the flaws of others and condemning them to eternal damnation. There was no room for reconciliation or forgiveness in that loveless atmosphere fueled by hate, insecurity, and man’s wrath. In hindsight, I realize that God could not have called such individuals because they lacked a proper understanding of His love.
“He who does not love does not know God, for God is love.” (1 John 4:8, NKJV)
Hence, the next time you encounter someone professing, “I don’t want religion; I want a relationship,” I encourage you to engage them respectfully. Ask them how they are actively helping others connect with God. Inquire about their efforts to support those who have been disillusioned by long-standing traditions and dogmas that once excluded them from the church.
Challenge them to find ways to remind people that God’s love remains constant even in their darkest hours. Sadly, there have been instances where churches have shamefully cast people aside. Our duty is to seek out these precious souls and share the truth with them: God loves them with an everlasting love, and He yearns for their return.
“The LORD appeared to us in the past, saying: ‘I have loved you with an everlasting love; I have drawn you with unfailing kindness.'” (Jeremiah 31:3, NIV)
Dr. Aaron Lewis, August 4, 2023